Computer User levels

After being a programmer for almost 10 years then deciding to make the move to IT support, I think I have finally been able to define most computer users. What follows is a high unofficial taxonomic list of computer users, you mileage may vary..

LEVEL 1. The slithering sloth-like creature that just emerged from the now-defunct primordial ooze. Has the basic computing capabilities of an infant and beyond banging on their keyboard they are completely helpless. Have been observed playfully attempting to use a telephone and usually can be found in supply closets chewing on the network cables. Best to keep them away from sharp objects and cliffs.

LEVEL 2. Basic denizens of the cyber world. Most have Facebook accounts and post their daily activities in the vain hopes anyone will care. Generally are responsible for 80% of all toxic chemical spills and most IT support calls. These individuals have gotten pasts their basic instinct to bludgeon themselves to death with their laptops, but are not above clicking on every obvious phishing attempt that crosses their desk.

LEVEL 3. The diamond-in-the-rough users that sometimes ascend to admin-hood. They have been observed actually restarting Outlook when it freezes and have learned basic personal hygiene. Has the occasional tendency to ask questions that have been known to cause spontaneous combustion of the level 4 user. Pride themselves in showing off their newest gadgets to the level 2 users, which generally end up either trying to eat the gadget or merely by their proximity to technology cause it to cease functioning.

LEVEL 4. The technological elite of the computer world. Top top-of-the-food-chain predators that can only look on in disgust as hapless workstations are beset upon by the level 1 and 2 users attempting in vain to check their email or update their Facebook status. Show amazing restraint from dismembering lower level users when they encounter issues, but usually resort to passive-aggressive chiding or stares of complete disbelief. Can be easily identified by a slightly flattened forehead due to an oddly masochistic behavior observed after an encounter with a level 3 user.

So there you have it. Not complete mind you, with my limited time in the wild the basic user archetypes have only just begun to emerge.

  1. #1 by Craig on October 6, 2009 - 4:49 pm

    As a level 4 I agree…..

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