Transformers and multitasking

This weekend I went and saw Transformers the movie with a friend. I had high hopes since I was a fan of the toys (who am I kidding, WAS, I still am!) and the cartoon. Though I was hesitant since there have been a lot bad movies that had a lot of promise. *cough* Battlefield Earth *cough*
I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It was a solid movie, quite a bit of action, some humor thrown in, and an almost epic soundtrack. This one will definitely be going on my to-buy list. I am skipping the whole renting it, I will want to watch this one again a few times.

Also, this weekend I decided since I was a bachelor for a Saturday, I was going to line up a few projects and knock them down since there would be no interruptions (aka, children). I was going to finish up a huge cabinet I was making, file or trash all the papers that were piling up in my office, finish a web site I have been working on for a friend, and make myself a kick-a$$ fish and chips dinner.

Here is pretty much how the day played out:

First I went to the hardware store to get what I needed to work on the cabinets. Once I got there, I realized I hadn’t written anything down, so I was just going to have to wing it. After browsing for about an hour, I came to the stark realization that I had no clue how to put together custom cabinets. I decided that would just get the backing board to start putting it all together and I would go home and try to wing it as best I could. I thought I could always come back since I had the whole day to work. Realization 2, no matter how hard you try it is impossible to get a 4’x4′ sheep of plywood into a Chevy Cavalier. There just isn’t any opening in the car big enough to accommodate it. I had measured the inside cavity, but not the opening, defeated I trudged back to the store to return my backing board.

Once home I decided that I’d had enough of word working for a little bit and I would work on the mountain of paperwork in my office. If you know me very well you will know that paperwork gets me agitated, and a lot of paperwork gets me downright pissy. After finding more than one unpaid and overdue bill in the stack over the course of an hour, I stood up up in disgust and surveyed the room for something to thump my fist on.(because fist thumping is an amazing relaxant…not). Spying my wife’s desk (which is made up of a two file cabinets and a huge solid door) I found my adversary. Scooting over to the desk I yelled the ceremonial curse “dammit!” and let my fist fly. The first curse was followed by a second..and a third when I realized the door was in fact not solid, but a hollow closet door and my fist went right through the top. After parading around the house like a baboon on helium, I realized to my horror that my wife was going to come home and see a huge hole in her desk. Reacting with the speed of a desperate man, I cleared everything off the desk and flipped the desktop over. Ha ha! I hadn’t put my hand all the way through, so this was an excelled solution! She would never notice!

I went back outside and spread my lumber across most of the yard so I could begin painting the unassembled pieces. Finished with that I got out my saw and began making the necessary cuts to get everything to fit together seamlessly. At that time I made two more realizations, one; my saw makes a lot of sawdust, and two; it was all sticking to the newly applied paint. Raising my fist to ceremoniously release my anger, uttered the standard curse then sheepishly withdrew my arms as the image of my wife’s desk came crashing back into my conscience. That was right about the time I felt the first raindrop. Uttering a whole stream of ceremonial cursing and some words that weren’t even words, I ran between the garage and the yard trying to get my rain dotted, saw dust encrusted boards out of the rain.

It was dinner time buy the time I got everything cleaned up so I decided to have a go at my third project, a kick-a$$ dinner of fish and chips. I got the fish out, seasoned it, then emptied the bag of fries into my grill skillet. Hmm, there weren’t many left so I used what was left. Taking my plate of fish and skillet of fries to the grill I lit it up and began grilling my masterpiece. Then the phone rang. It was my wife and the boys, my oldest really wanted to tell me everything they had done that day and if you have ever listened to a story told by a four year old you will know that their stories are extremely non-linear, only partially accurate, and really hard to follow at times. After squinting and scratching my head for 10 minutes the story was finally over (although I wasn’t precisely sure how dinosaurs and light sabers made it into the story, he included them somehow) , my son bid me farewell and went on his way. After my wife got back on the phone I started to notice a strange black fog rolling into the back yard. Realizing that I had no idea how long it had been since I stepped away from the grill, I quickly said good bye to my wife and sprinted to the grill only to find a meteorite where the fries used to be and some strange meat that I can only surmise to be extremely overcooked fish. Having learned my lesson the first time, I simply uttered the ceremonial curse and kept my hand in my pockets.

The next day my wife came home. She sprinted in the house citing a major bathroom emergency. And, amazingly enough, while sitting on the toilet, and no where even close to the office, she shouts “What the heck happened to my desk!?” *sigh..

  1. #1 by mcangeli on August 24, 2007 - 4:00 pm

    Dude, they just know. I knew the out come when I heard what you had done. The proper thing would have been to run to the nearest office depot and buy her a new mammoth desk to replace the door on the cabinets.

    I too was a bachelor last weekend, unfortunately, my wife decided for me what my project was and so I spent most of my weekend working on tiling the kitchen floor. Unlike you though, I left the house with a definite shopping list…

  2. #2 by jeffro on August 24, 2007 - 4:27 pm

    Hmm, a shopping list, a novel idea! That and paper shredders. I contemplated getting a new desk for her but then I realized to get a desk that would equal the proportions of the door, I would be dropping around $500, so I decided to just take my chances with the least expensive option. 🙁

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